Food: half a chicken pot pie. not even kidding. oh and some green tea. and water.
Workout: Core Synergistics
Workout went well today. I couldn't do all of the reps in some of the exercises, but I did all of the exercises. Except for the bonus round. But thats ok. That can be my goal for next week. Or maybe week 4 or 5. Whatever.
I'm surprisingly not hungry. I know that my diet today sounds like a major case of anorexia. But its really just a major case of not being hungry. And a case of having to be the closest to naked in public as I have been in 3 years in a little over than 2 weeks time. On a stage.
Speaking of being naked on a stage, I am just so uncomfortable with that number. And with sex in general. Like. I freeze completely whenever we have to ad-lib sex. And I kind of feel like I am going to vomit everywhere. I can do the choreographed stuff no problem. If someone tells me what to do then I can do it. But I am just a horrible ad-libber. Especially because I am just so uncomfortable with sex. Gross. Ugh. I have been trying to psycho-analyze myself and figure out why I am so uncomfortable. In high school I was totally ok with sex. I guess it's because I gained weight and lost confidence. Even today, one of my fellow players told me that I look like I had lost weight (in the last week lol) and you would think that a compliment would give me the confidence to just...bend over or something. Shake my booty. But nope. I think that it's because in my head I'm still fat. I feel like I still have so many wobbly bits even though I have a lot less than I used to. I don't know. I just have to like...get drunk and have a really slutty night. Maybe then I can loosen up. Get that stick out of my ass. Nah mean?
No comments:
Post a Comment